Believe it or not, the Show-Me-State is a lot more than cornfields and barbecue. It has a host of fun activities for all to enjoy, whether you are more comfortable in a big-city setting, or a vast expanse of wilderness.
Most importantly though, my home state has a plethora of spooky wildlife, legends and attractions. Perhaps it was the creepiness of old Missouri that made me into the Halloweeniac I am today, or maybe every state has its fair amount of horror and I have just admired mine more closely than others.
One thing is for certain though, if you are a fan of the spooktastic, you need to plan a trip to the heartland, and here’s why:
#7 Flora and Fauna
The ambiance of the rural-side of Missouri is akin to about six out of ten horror movies ever made. Growing up I spent a lot of time in the woods, and I always felt a little uneasy after a few hours alone.
The overgrown brush and trees mix with the various hills and ravines of the terrain, casting any woodland-explorer in a see of ever-moving shadows.
If you do manage to find a piece of civilization in the forests of Missouri, it is typically an old, worn down piece of farm equipment, which does little to ease your fear of backwoods murderers and slobbering monsters.
The woods themselves may not kill you, but we have plenty of things that will, whether by way of assault or panic-induced heart attack.
That attractive arachnid is a Brown Recluse spider, and I see about a hundred of them a week. While the Recluse isn’t likely to kill you, it can do some pretty horrific damage (WARNING! Extremely disturbing images reside within that link).
There are, of course, plenty of critters around these parts that will absolutely kill you. For example, we have rattle snakes, which are always dangerous, and copperheads, which just caused a fatality the other day. We also have mountain lions, which aren’t known for killing people, but occasionally do.
Aside from the dangerous animals, Missouri is home to quite a few fear-inducing creatures. There are tons of spiders and snakes, but also scorpions, coyotes (they may not be overly dangerous, but hearing their high-pitched wail in the dead of night will make your skin crawl) and 14 different types of bats.
#6 The Weather
Pictured above is the deadly tornado that killed nearly 160 people in Joplin, Missouri on 22 May, 2011. While this event was horrible,it is not something that I celebrate on this horror blog.
However, I am a fan of storms in general, and I am lucky enough to get quite a few of them. In fact, Missouri averages roughly 27 tornadoes a year, and while they usually (thankfully) don’t cause fatalities, the rush I get when the sirens go off is irreplaceable.
Some of the best memories I have from my youth are of watching dark clouds roll over the woods while sudden crashes of lightning forced me to jump and quiver.
#5 Caves
There is no creepier setting than a cave, and Missouri is home to over 6,000 of them. Actually, the Missouri Speleological Society estimates that there are probably still thousands of undiscovered or unreported caves in the state!
While I have only been in a few caves, I have always had a strong calling to explore uncharted caverns, because the caves I have been in had plenty of eerie things to offer.
Caves stay relatively cool all year round, maintaining a constantly ghostly atmosphere. They are also the darkest places on earth, and are home to some of the weirdest wildlife Missouri has to offer.
In my caving experience, I have seen thousands of bats, scorpions and several blind, pigment-less newts scurrying about. There are, of course, many local legends and tales about man-eating monsters living below the earth’s surface, but I am yet to see any.
Somewhat of an unexpected, spooky feature of caves is the way that they “breathe.” As I mentioned above, caves keep their temperature year round, so in the fall and winter, they are warmer than the outside air. This causes ominous pillars of steam to rise from the forests, something my father used to call “cave breathing.”
#4 The Beaman Monster
Speaking of which, the stories my old man would tell about growing up in Sedalia, Missouri were usually full of laughs, but there was one that was never funny and kept me sleepless until I was a teenager.
According to B.G. Horror, Sr., he was once confronted by a beast that he and his friends dubbed the Beaman Monster, which is now quite a well known cryptid for Missourians.
The story goes that he was out partying with some friends, when one young man came running, saying some “thing” attacked his car out by the cemetery. My father, who has apparently always been a skeptic, took a look at the vehicle and, seeing that the hood was all scratched up, determined that his friend was probably drunk and ran into the cemetery gate, which was smashed and bent. However, his friend pointed out that the gate was smashed from the inside, and that’s when they saw the eyes.
From the cornfield beyond the cemetery two glowing, yellow eyes were seen observing the young men. Luckily, they had their hunting rifles in their respective cars, and they began shooting/chasing the creature away.
According to the story, there were reports of mutilated animals and sightings of a huge bipedal beast, covered in black hair, for weeks after.
While most people (my father included) consider the monster to be Bigfoot, some describe the Beaman Monster more as a werewolf.
There is a fact page on the Monster here, which seems to take the Bigfoot stance. While I have never had a reason to doubt my father’s honesty, I am a skeptic when it comes to cryptid sightings, but you can believe whatever you want.
#3 Momo
Momo is the Missouri version of Bigfoot, and he has been spotted quite a few times. Said to be a seven foot tall ape-man with a pumpkin-shaped head, Momo is not something you want to mess with.
As I said, I am a skeptic about this sort of thing, but it’s hard to talk to anyone from rural Missouri without hearing a tale of this elusive creature running through their yard.
#2 Raw Head and Bloody Bones
I have briefly discussed this Ozark-born legend before. This is one of my favorite scary stories of all time. It involves a witch, necromancy, gore, killing and a monster…my favorites.
You can (and should) read the full story here, but I will give you a condensed version:
There was once an old lady that lived in the Ozark woods, she just so happened to be a witch. She had an enchanted pet razorback hog that talked and walked upright.
One day, a poacher killed the hog. The witch, distraught by grief, revived old Rawhead as a revenge-hungry hog-beast, who makes his preparations and finds the poacher.
The story is really worth a read, so check it out.
#1 Haunts
Being from Kansas City, I am spoiled by Missouri’s amazing haunted attractions. Kc is home to FOUR major haunts, and all of them offer their own special treat for us Halloween fans.
Pictured above is the entrance to my personal favorite, The Beast. This house has been deemed “America’s Largest Haunted House,” and believe me, it’s huge. The Beast is set in an “open format,” meaning that it features large, open rooms that you have to find your way out of (I once was stuck in a single room with a secret exit for over 20 minutes before a monster told me where to go) instead of closed-quarters mazes. The Beast also features a werewolf forest, live alligator and a very tall slide as an exit.
The Edge Of Hell is exactly what it sounds like. If you dare to visit this house, you will go through what feels like miles of scares in order to reach heaven on the top floor. Then, you will be sent back into the depths of hell for more. Like The Beast, The “Edge,” as it is referred to as, features a slide from the top floor to the bottom. Unlike The Beast, the slide is a spiral. Oh, also, there is a record setting 25 foot python that lives here.
The Chambers of Poe is a very creative haunted house. You’ll find yourself walking through the darkest of Edgar Allan Poe’s stories in this literary themed haunt, if you are brave enough to enter it. The best part involves the culprit from The Murders in the Rue Morgue
Macabre Cinema is also a themed house, but instead of walking through the written horrors of a madman’s mind, you must trek through the scariest scenes of all your favorite scary movies. This house is horrifying to go through alone, especially if you have a fear of clowns. So, bring a friend if you choose to visit.
While these four houses have been featured on the Travel Channel, have been visited by the Mistress of Darkness, Elvira and have won tons of awards, there are many more great haunts to visit in Missouri, I just haven’t had the pleasure yet.
For example, The Darkness in St. Louis, Missouri has been rated America’s Scariest Haunt several times. I plan on finally experiencing this hell-house in October, so I will let you know how it is…if I survive.
Final Words
Though I long for travel and new places, I will always love my spooky home state. If you want to experience all of the horror that Missouri has to offer, please come on out, we’ll be waiting for you.
Thanks for reading.
B.G.'s Horror Blog 