The Raven’s Grin Inn: A Review and More

Leave a comment

NOTE: Call this paranormal activity or whatever you want, but out of the hundred or so photos I took in Illinois, the few that I took of  Raven’s Grin Inn either came out far too blurry or as just a black screen.  All pictures posted here are from other sources.

In the rural town of Mount Carroll, Illinois, lays a voluminous Victorian home whose decor sets it apart immediately from the others .  In addition to the usual painted sills and shudders of Victorians, this home, located at 411 North Carroll Street, boasts skulls, monster cars and even a skeletal pterodactyl.

It is the Raven’s Grin Inn, a year round haunted attraction that has been featured on Wild Chicago,  Extreme Homes and in the Chicago Tribune.

This haunt is unlike any other that you can experience.  Unlike most professional haunts, patrons of Raven’s Grin are led on tour through the attraction.  And their tour-guide is the eccentric, hilarious and sometimes horrifying Mr. Jim Warfield.

Warfield, owner, creator and resident of the Raven’s Grin Inn, was nice enough to not only allow me to experience his creepy creation, but to share with me the haunts history, as well as his own.

The Man with the Vision

Mr. Warfield, who says he was influenced by horror movies that his parents would take him to see as a boy and trace-books with battle tanks in them, wasn’t always the owner of a year-round-haunt.

Like many of us, Warfield spent years working with his hands on other people’s properties to earn a living, something that  helped to hone his abilities in construction.  His love of all-things-spooky and his unrivaled creativity drove him to buy the now-famous home, and make it into the attraction it is today.

Warfield had a dream.  He dreamed of building a haunted attraction (perhaps a haunted bed and breakfast) that was open everyday.  He worked hard to make this dream a reality, often receiving criticism from his fellow townspeople.  However, the day Raven’s Grin opened its doors for business it was already a success.

In Warfield’s own words, “The village idiot became the town hero.”

The House

Built in 1870, the house at 411 North Carroll has been a brothel, a school house and a car dealership.  Its walls have seen many things (some of them quite horrible) and they themselves have changed constantly over the years.

Purchased by Jim Warfield in 1987 (pictured above), the house has been under constant construction since.  It has transformed from a white sided beauty, to a house of horrors and hilarity.

Its halls have been morphed into mazes. Its rooms have been made into fear-inducing, laughter-causing scenes.  It has become more than a home; it has become an extremely entertaining haunt.

While the house has changed in appearance over the years, its haunted history has always been observed.

Paranormal Activity

Many people experience the presence of spirits at Raven’s Grin, including Warfield himself.

People claim to see a lady in white roaming the wine cellar and escaping into the ceiling (not an effect of Warfield’s). There are strange noises and sensations within the house and Warfield once saw a pair of jeans walk into the living room, unaccompanied by a body.

While there are an incredible amount of  stories of the paranormal taking place in Raven’s Grin, ghost stories are a large (and important) part of the experience at this attraction and I have to insist that you visit it yourself to hear more.

The Attraction

More than a house of horrors, Raven’s Grin Inn is a masterpiece of art, all created by Jim Warfield.  The attraction offers a mixture of hand-made robotics, animatronics, conventional art and performance art.

Just making your way inside the haunt is a fun and nerve racking ordeal.  The front door will surprise you and your first meeting with your host will make you question if you can stomach this adventure. Once you’re inside, things only get better.

You begin your adventure with an introduction from Warfield in which you hear the history of the house and some of its ghost stories. You then become completely convinced that its owner (your host for the next two hours) is insane.  Trust me, even the beginning of your tour will make you laugh, shiver and jump uncontrollably.

After this introduction, you are led through the house (and the mind of a madman) by Warfield. His creations and contraptions alone are amazing enough to be worth the price, but you also get to experience a ton of insane jokes and awkward moments (also led by Warfield).

You’ll discover that art can be terrifying and monsters hilarious.  You’ll laugh at a crude monster or mechanism, then you’ll pee from the panic of having something horrible lunge at you.  You’ll enter shaking in fear, and leave laughing uncontrollably

I won’t spoil the surprises for you, but I assure you the Raven’s Grin Inn has something for every personality type, and in several incidences, you are often given the option to forgo certain “surprises” if you aren’t comfortable with them (I recommend volunteering to go first for everything…it’s wonderful).

Go Already!

Seriously, if you haven’t already started planning your trip to Mount Carroll you are no longer allowed to read this blog.

Not kidding, go away.

This experience was, by far, the most memorable one that I have had in my fifteen-year-long career as a haunt fan.  If you have only been to the traditional haunts that spring up around October, you have no idea what you’re missing.

Raven’s Grin Inn is not only unique in its use of humor AND horror as entertainment, but its very walls bleed with the passion of its creator, and that is something that big-dollar-haunts often lack.

I’ll leave you with this link for Raven’s Grin Inn’s website and my favorite portion of my conversation with Mr. Jim Warfield:

Me: “Sir, you have the best job in the world…”

Warfield: “I know.”

Edited by a literary goddess.

7 Reasons Why Horror Fans Should Come to Missouri

Leave a comment

Believe it or not, the Show-Me-State is a lot more than cornfields and barbecue.  It has a host of fun activities for all to enjoy, whether you are more comfortable in a big-city setting, or a vast expanse of wilderness.

Most importantly though, my home state has a plethora of spooky wildlife, legends and attractions. Perhaps it was the creepiness of old Missouri that made me into the Halloweeniac  I am today, or maybe every state has its fair amount of horror and I have just admired mine more closely than others.

One thing is for certain though, if you are a fan of the spooktastic, you need to plan a trip to the heartland, and here’s why:

#7 Flora and Fauna

The ambiance of the rural-side of Missouri is akin to about six out of ten horror movies ever made.  Growing up I spent a lot of time in the woods, and I always felt a little uneasy after a few hours alone.

The overgrown brush and trees mix with the various hills and ravines of the terrain, casting any woodland-explorer in a see of ever-moving shadows.

If you do manage to find a piece of civilization in the forests of Missouri, it is typically an old, worn down piece of farm equipment, which does little to ease your fear of backwoods murderers and slobbering monsters.

The woods themselves may not kill you, but we have plenty of things that will, whether by way of assault or panic-induced heart attack.

That attractive arachnid is a Brown Recluse spider, and I see about a hundred of them a week.  While the Recluse isn’t likely to kill you, it can do some pretty horrific damage (WARNING! Extremely disturbing images reside within that link).

There are, of course, plenty of critters around these parts that will absolutely kill you.  For example, we have rattle snakes, which are always dangerous, and copperheads, which just caused a fatality the other day.  We also have mountain lions, which aren’t known for killing people, but occasionally do.

Aside from the dangerous animals, Missouri is home to quite a few fear-inducing creatures.  There are tons of spiders and snakes, but also scorpions, coyotes (they may not be overly dangerous, but hearing their high-pitched wail in the dead of night will make your skin crawl) and 14 different types of bats.

#6 The Weather

Pictured above is the deadly tornado that killed nearly 160 people in Joplin, Missouri on 22 May, 2011.  While this event was horrible,it is not something that I celebrate on this horror blog.

However, I am a fan of storms in general, and I am lucky enough to get quite a few of them.  In fact, Missouri averages roughly 27 tornadoes a year, and while they usually (thankfully) don’t cause fatalities, the rush I get when the sirens go off is irreplaceable.

Some of the best memories I have from my youth are of watching dark clouds roll over the woods while sudden crashes of lightning  forced me to jump and quiver.

#5 Caves

There is no creepier setting than a cave, and Missouri is home to over 6,000 of them.  Actually, the Missouri Speleological Society estimates that there are probably still thousands of undiscovered or unreported caves in the state!

While I have only been in a few caves, I have always had a strong calling to explore uncharted caverns, because the caves I have been in had plenty of eerie things to offer.

Caves stay relatively cool all year round, maintaining a constantly ghostly atmosphere.  They are also the darkest places on earth, and are home to some of the weirdest wildlife Missouri has to offer.

In my caving experience, I have seen thousands of bats, scorpions and several blind, pigment-less newts scurrying about.  There are, of course, many local legends and tales about man-eating monsters living below the earth’s surface, but I am yet to see any.

Somewhat of an unexpected, spooky feature of caves is the way that they “breathe.” As I mentioned above, caves keep their temperature year round, so in the fall and winter, they are warmer than the outside air.  This causes ominous pillars of steam to rise from the forests, something my father used to call “cave breathing.”

#4 The Beaman Monster

Speaking of which, the stories my old man would tell about growing up in Sedalia, Missouri were usually full of laughs, but there was one that was never funny and kept me sleepless until I was a teenager.

According to B.G. Horror, Sr., he was once confronted by a beast that he and his friends dubbed the Beaman Monster, which is now quite a well known cryptid for Missourians.

The story goes that he was out partying with some friends, when one young man came running, saying some “thing” attacked his car out by the cemetery.  My father, who has apparently always been a skeptic, took a look at the vehicle and, seeing that the hood was all scratched up, determined that his friend was probably drunk and ran into the cemetery gate, which was smashed and bent.  However, his friend pointed out that the gate was smashed from the inside, and that’s when they saw the eyes.

From the cornfield beyond the cemetery two glowing, yellow eyes were seen observing the young men.  Luckily, they had their hunting rifles in their respective cars, and they began shooting/chasing the creature away.

According to the story, there were reports of mutilated animals and sightings of a huge bipedal beast, covered in black hair, for weeks after.

While most people (my father included) consider the monster to be Bigfoot,  some describe the Beaman Monster more as a werewolf.

There is a fact page on the Monster here, which seems to take the Bigfoot stance. While I have never had a reason to doubt my father’s honesty, I am a skeptic when it comes to cryptid sightings, but you can believe whatever you want.

#3 Momo

Momo is the Missouri version of Bigfoot, and he has been spotted quite a few times.  Said to be a seven foot tall ape-man with a pumpkin-shaped head, Momo is not something you want to mess with.

As I said, I am a skeptic about this sort of thing, but it’s hard to talk to anyone from rural Missouri without hearing a tale of this elusive creature running through their yard.

#2 Raw Head and Bloody Bones

I have briefly discussed this Ozark-born legend before.  This is one of my favorite scary stories of all time. It involves a witch, necromancy, gore, killing and a monster…my favorites.

You can (and should) read the full story here,  but I will give you a condensed version:

There was once an old lady that lived in the Ozark woods, she just so happened to be a witch.  She had an enchanted pet razorback hog that talked and walked upright.

One day, a poacher killed the hog. The witch, distraught by grief, revived old Rawhead as a revenge-hungry hog-beast, who makes his preparations and finds the poacher.

The story is really worth a read, so check it out.

#1 Haunts

Being from Kansas City, I am spoiled by Missouri’s amazing haunted attractions.  Kc is home to FOUR major haunts, and all of them offer their own special treat for us Halloween fans.

Pictured above is the entrance to my personal favorite, The Beast. This house has been deemed “America’s Largest Haunted House,” and believe me, it’s huge.  The Beast is set in an “open format,” meaning that it features large, open rooms that you have to find your way out of (I once was stuck in a single room with a secret exit for over 20 minutes before a monster told me where to go) instead of  closed-quarters mazes.  The Beast also features a werewolf forest, live alligator and a very tall slide as an exit.

The Edge Of Hell is exactly what it sounds like.  If you dare to visit this house, you will go through what feels like miles of scares in order to reach heaven on the top floor.  Then, you will be sent back into the depths of hell for more.  Like The Beast, The “Edge,” as it is referred to as, features a slide from the top floor to the bottom.  Unlike The Beast, the slide is a spiral.  Oh, also, there is a record setting 25 foot python that lives here.

The Chambers of Poe is a very creative haunted house.  You’ll find yourself walking through the darkest of Edgar Allan Poe’s stories in this literary themed haunt, if you are brave enough to enter it. The best part involves the culprit from The Murders in the Rue Morgue

Macabre Cinema is also a themed house, but instead of walking through the written horrors of a madman’s mind, you must trek through the scariest scenes of all your favorite scary movies.  This house is horrifying to go through alone, especially if you have a fear of clowns.  So, bring a friend if you choose to visit.

While these four houses have been featured on the Travel Channel, have been visited by the Mistress of Darkness, Elvira and have won tons of awards, there are many more great haunts to visit in Missouri, I just haven’t had the pleasure yet.

For example, The Darkness in St. Louis, Missouri has been rated America’s Scariest Haunt several times.  I plan on finally experiencing this hell-house in October, so I will let you know how it is…if I survive.

Final Words

Though I long for travel and new places, I will always love my spooky home state.  If you want to experience all of the horror that Missouri has to offer, please come on out, we’ll be waiting for you.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Apologies and Upcoming Stuff

Leave a comment

My Bad, Readers…

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated this blog, and for that I am truly sorry.  I don’t have very many followers (or views), but those that I have are the best.

You are the best because you share my interest in the world of the macabre and horrific.  I love you guys…but I digress.

Rest assured, my absence hasn’t hindered my horror fandom.  In fact, I’ve recently purchased several new spooky books that I plan to review for you guys and  I have a few… bigger things planned.

Upcoming Stuff

That’s right Horror Fans, I’m (finally) going to live my dream of attending a horror convention! I bought VIP passes and, while I’m not entirely sure of what all they come with, I promises you I will have plenty of pictures and content to blog about come mid-August.

I plan on doing my best to annoy the guest-stars into providing me an interview to write about so… fingers crossed.

Before my Crypticon adventure, I have another lifelong dream that I want to share with you all.  The details aren’t completely finalized yet, so for now I am going to keep it a little bit of a secret, but here’s a hint:

If you used Chrome’s “Search Google for this Image” feature, or if you are a true Halloween fan and recognize the building, then you may have an idea of what is going down.

However, if my plans work out (fingers crossed…again) there will be a little “added bonus” that I hope you don’t see coming.

Thanks for Stopping in!

Cheers and Happy Reading.

Salud and Happy Reading.

I plan on keeping up with this blog a lot more frequently from now on. So, please keep stopping by and I will do my best to keep you afraid and entertained.

Horror Movie of the Weekend: ‘The Descent’

1 Comment

Alright so, I’ve started doing a thing where every weekend I make time to watch a horror movie that I wasn’t interested in before, never heard of before, or otherwise passed up. I believe this will be a good way for me to expand my “horror movie fandom” and broaden my horrific horizons.  I’ll write about them in this blog, and do my best to keep an open mind. This article may contain spoilers!

 

Foreword

Alright so, people have been telling me to watch this 2005 thriller for years, but I just haven’t ever given it the time.  Overall, I’m glad that I chose to watch it, but I wasn’t as thrilled with it as I have been with some of the other movies I’ve spent time on recently.

Director/writer Neil Marshall explores all kinds of fears in this film.  If you’re claustrophobic, have a fear of the dark, or hate heights, you’re bound to feel some discomfort while watching this film.

However, for traditional horror fans like myself, you may find it hard to sit through the roughly forty-five minutes of crawling, climbing and conversation that happens before you ever get to see a monster.

Don’t get me wrong, this film had its positives.  The time spent on character development makes it easy to feel for the group as they start to drop, and once the carnage (finally) starts, it’s fairly brutal and suspenseful.

Quick Summary

When a group of adventurous young women decide to explore an undiscovered cave, they find that “undiscovered” doesn’t necessarily mean “uninhabited.”

The girls fight against the dark, cave-ins, themselves, and a group of bat-like humanoids as they try to find their way out of the cavern.

Review

As I stated above, this film takes awhile to start being horrifying.  However, once it does take off, it stays pretty action packed up until the ending (which is sort of a twist).

If you like slow-start movies, then you will definitely want to check this one out, but for me, it was honestly just too boring for too long.

The Horror!

These half-bat-half-human baddies (known as “crawlers”) were by far the best part of this movie.

While they are completely blind, the “crawlers” use sound to hunt down their prey and, judging by all the bones and blood in the cavern, they do a pretty good job of it.

With the ability to climb basically any surface, it would seem that these creatures would have no problem devouring the group of spelunkers, but you will have to watch for yourself to see how that goes.

Should You See It?

If you have the time.

Again, a lot of my friends love this movie, so it’s possible that you will too.  The last half-hour or so did make the film worth seeing, but I was so fatigued from waiting for the blood bath to start that I was almost too tired to enjoy it.

I would say that you should give this movie a chance on a night when you don’t have much else to do, and feel free to let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading and check out the trailer below.

Great Websites for Spooky Reading

3 Comments

Obviously, I enjoy reading about creepy things on the internet.  Whether it’s real life scary stories, horror fiction or factlets about eerie things, I find myself spending hours looking for new ways to lose sleep.

The following websites are just a few suggestions for you horror fanatics out there. I find these to be bone-chillingly entertaining and if you haven’t already checked them out, I think you should.

CREEPYPASTA.COM

This is a great site for raw, user-submitted stories.  Recently in the news for its “connection” with a brutal stabbing, Creepypasta is probably most well known for one of its reoccurring creepy characters, Slenderman.

However, the site is home to tons of terrible tales, including parodies, traditional horror stories and stories based on true events.

This is a great site to check out on a rainy evening when you’re feeling like giving yourself a little anxiety, and if you have some stories of your own that you think would fit in, you can submit them and share your horror with the community.

AMERICANFOLKLORE.NET

This site is fantastic if you’re interested in urban legends and myths from around all of North America.

The site includes spooky campfire stories and ghost stories that you can remember for the next time you want to freak out your friends.

The best part about Americanfolklore is that it allows you to search for scary legends and stories from whichever state (or country) that you want in the North Americas.

Being from Missouri, and having a father who lives in the Ozarks, I was thrilled to see the legend of Raw Head and Bloody Bones posted on this site.  It’s an extremely spooky bit of folklore and if you haven’t read it yet, you should definitely click that link.

CRACKED.COM

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t Cracked a comedy site?”  Well, yes, but it also has an entire section dedicated to horror!

While the lists and articles in Cracked‘s horror section still have a comedic slant to them, they are incredibly fun to waste your time with, and some of them are incredibly disturbing (which is awesome).

The horror section includes the sub-categories ZOMBIES, POP CULTURE, COSTUMES, and, the best part of all, REAL HORROR.

While it is entertaining to read about zombies and horror movies, and while I do love Halloween costumes, the REAL HORROR section is by far the most deliciously dreadful.

It contains lists about creepy things, places, murderers and a large collection of urban legends that are actually true!

LISTVERSE.COM

Another “list site,” Listverse tends to focus a little less on comedy and a lot more on interesting facts.  However, if you venture into the Creepy Archives, you’ll find lists on just about anything that a horror junkie could want to read about.

Whether you’re looking for ghost stories, real life horrible incidences, tales of horrible crimes, or accounts of creepy monster and/or demon sightings, this site has it all.

I would recommend checking out the “Top 10 Scariest Lists for Halloween” list in order to get a feel for the kind of horror you might find on Listverse.

Suggestions Please!

I am aware that there are many, many websites out there for horror, but I am always on the hunt for more.  If you have any suggestions for sites that are similar to these, or that will make my skin crawl in general, please comment and let me know.

Thanks for reading!

 

Horror Movie of the Weekend: ‘Feast’

Leave a comment

Alright so, I’ve started doing a thing where every weekend I make time to watch a horror movie that I wasn’t interested in before, never heard of before, or otherwise passed up. I believe this will be a good way for me to expand my “horror movie fandom” and broaden my horrific horizons.  I’ll write about them in this blog, and do my best to keep an open mind. This article may contain spoilers!

Foreword

I stumbled upon this blood hungry “B-movie” earlier this weekend, and I am extremely happy that I did.  Writers Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, and director John Gulager created quite a wonderful film with their combination of dark comedy, suspense, and gore.

As I’ve mentioned before, I love monsters.  The best horror films, in my opinion, have massive, hair covered, slimy beasts with more teeth than you can count, and Feast provides just that.

This gruesome masterpiece was a result of Project Greenlight, which means that, while it is a “B-movie,”  there are a few big names attached to it.   Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Chris Moore, and Wes Craven are only a few of those names who took part in the production of Feast. 

Quick Summary

In a dive bar in a small town, a group of misfits have their night of drinking and playing pool interrupted when a shotgun-wielding, blood-soaked man barges in and tells them to be ready to survive the night.  Shortly afterwards, the kill fest begins as a family of roadkill monsters (apparently) come to feast on the group.

Ninety-five  minutes of carnage, perversion and hilarity ensues as the band of bar-goers come up with plans to outlast the darkness.

Also, every new character that is introduced gets a still-frame “introduction shot” that reveals their name, occupation, life expectancy and other fun facts, and they are funny as hell.

Review

I honestly loved this film.  It was packed full of blood, body parts, monsters and comedic relief.

The acting was great, which is not always true for “B-flicks,” and the production values and effects were on par with any big Hollywood release.

The Horror!

As mentioned above, the “horror” in this film is of the best breed:  fur-covered, bloody, oozy, disgusting monsters.

Like all of the best monsters in movies, these guys are extremely difficult to kill, have super strength and kill brutally and creatively.

The “Feast Beasts” have the ability to instantly reproduce and can spew a maggot-filled slime onto their victims as well… which is simply goddamn awesome.

Should You See It?

Immediately.

Feast sort of bridges the gap between Hollywood release and “B-flick,” so there is something for every horror fan here.  It pretty much sums up the monster genre, while adding humor that helps break the cycle of cliches that the genre has fallen into.  I definitely recommend seeing this film.

Thanks for reading!  Check out the trailer below.

 

Why Horror Fans Should Learn Spanish

Leave a comment

There are many reasons to learn another language. It can help you find employment, make travelling easier, and help you to make new friends from far away places.

However, the greatest reason to learn another language, in my opinion, is that it allows you  to expand your knowledge of Horror literature and film.

Now, if I had the time, I would learn every language in the world for this reason.  But I chose to learn Spanish, and here is why I’m glad that I did:

Spanish Language Horror Writing

Julio Cortázar’s short story, La Noche Boca Arriba (The Night Face Up), is probably one of my favorite short stories of all time.  It tells the story of a young man who has horrible nightmares while he is recovering from a terrible motorcycle accident.  Or does it?

This story is full of psychological deception and primal fear, and is definitely worth a read.  If you are not a Spanish speaker, there are, of course, translated versions.

However, translations always take away from the style of any written work, so I would recommend learning the language or reading the original alongside the translation at the very least.

 

Uruguayan writer Horacio Quiroga’s, La Miel Silvestre (The Wild Honey), is another terrifying example of primal fear.  Horacio writes about a man who accidentally consumes some paralysis inducing, toxic honey while trekking through the jungle, and then the horror begins.

This tale serves as a perfect reminder that the world we live in can be just as  grotesque as the fictional places and monsters that mankind has written about for centuries.

La Miel Silvestre is beautifully written in its native tongue, but if you want to read it in English, you can use Google to translate.

WARNING: Using any translating websites or software can cause errors within the text of a story, for the best accuracy, try and find a Spanish speaker to help you translate.

 

Spooky Spanish Speaking Films

That freaky, masked child is brought to you by director J.A. Bayona and writer Sergio G. Sánchez in their 2007 Horror film, El Orfanato (The Orphanage).

According to a Spanish professor I had, this film wasn’t advertised as “horror” in many Spanish speaking countries.  However, it definitely has an eerie feel throughout, and a few good scares.

While I don’t want to ruin anything from this magnificent movie, I will say that the ending is not only a surprise, but is quite horrific.

After viewing this film, you will probably find yourself asking the following questions:  Were the ghosts real? Is this about mental illness brought on by grief? Would I be willing to play with spirits in order to find someone I care about?

 

This is probably the most popular Spanish horror film in the world.  I love “Found Footage,” and directors Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza really did the genre a solid when they brought the world this delightfully dreadful flick.

Most people already know that the 2008 film Quarantine was based directly off of this film, and according to the internet, most people tend to like the original better.  I agree with “most people” on this one.

REC follows, basically, the same story line that it’s remake did (in case you’ve only seen Quarantine).  A group of people are quarantined in a building after someone gets sick (and becomes somewhat of a zombie) and they try to survive while finding out what’s going on.

It has plenty of blood, scares and creepy moments, and never gets boring.

While this film is absolutely available with English subtitles, you tend to get a better feel of the characters’ fear when you can understand what they are saying, which is just another awesome reason why you should learn Spanish.

To Sum up…

There are literally thousands of other stories, books and films written in Spanish and horror fans that don’t speak the language are missing out on all of them.

I am extremely glad that I chose to put in the work to learn Spanish, because my newly-found-ability has allowed me to open a door on an entire new room of the haunted house that is my brain.  A room that is essentially a massive library full of unread books and unseen films.

I highly recommend learning to speak a second language if you also want to expand your knowledge of the world of horror, and Spanish seems to havebeen a wise place to start for me.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Horror Movie of the Weekend: ‘Silent Hill’

Leave a comment

Alright so, I’ve started doing a thing where every weekend I make time to watch a horror movie that I wasn’t interested in before, never heard of before, or otherwise passed up. I believe this will be a good way for me to expand my “horror movie fandom” and broaden my horrific horizons.  I’ll write about them in this blog, and do my best to keep an open mind. This article may contain spoilers!

Foreword

After playing the video game version of this story way back when I was in Elementary School, I avoided its cinematic release for years because the whole video-game-to-movie thing hadn’t really worked out well for me in the past.

Anytime that I started to get interested in watching this movie, I made the classic mistake of reading reviews online beforehand, which were mostly negative.

However, I decided to give this movie a shot, and here are my findings:

Quick Summary

Much like the PlayStation version, a little girl is lost in a city plagued by monsters and secrets and her parent risks their life trying to rescue her, with the help of a police officer.

Unlike the PlayStation version, the protagonist is played by the little girls (adopted) mother, which doesn’t really take away from the film (in fact, it might have been a better decision).  Some names are slightly changed, and several other aspects differ, but overall the story is relatively the same.

The mother (Radha Mitchell), while taking her troubled daughter (Jodelle Ferland) to the town (Silent Hill) that she speaks of in her sleep, gets into an accident while fleeing from a police officer (Laurie Holden).

When the mother wakes up, her daughter is gone and she must (in a way) enlist the help of the officer she was running from in order to brave hell on earth to get her back.

They learn of Silent Hill’s dark past, meet its demons and discover not everything is what it seems it the desolate town.

Plot Review

Meh, the plot felt a little too typical for me in this one.  Although there were many original moments, the whole “searching-for-a-loved-one-in-a-city-where-maybe-the-evil-isn’t-really-evil” thing tasted a little too familiar, which also made a few of the revelations seem a little too predictable.

However, Director Christophe Gans did manage to make a few mysteries stick (like the ending of the film) and what he lacked in “seat-straddling suspense” he made up for with his creative  use of CGI (which I usually can’t stand) and a few monstrous moments of gore.

The Horror!

The “horror” in this film takes the form of fanaticism and motherly abandonment.

Oh, and also a giant demon known as Pyramid Head (pictured above) that summons hoards of creepy crawly critters and carries the biggest sword ever.

Those of us who played the video game version of this film already knew to expect Pyramid Head, he is iconic for the series (both video games and movies).  And you may be thinking that no one could really do this monster any justice on screen.

However, Roberto Campanella really brings his character to life in this film and, honestly, its his performance that saved this movie for me. Although he doesn’t appear as often as I may have wanted, his screen time really kept my attention.

Those of us who are tired of “child villains” and no longer find the “creepy little girl” thing amusing can take solace in the fact that a giant, ripped demon with a gigantic metal pyramid helmet rips the entirety of someone’s skin of in a single tug in this film.

There are other monsters in the film, but none as memorable as Pyramid Head, and I am hoping to see more of him in the second film.

Rating

What? No. I’m not going to rate other people’s work, I’m no asshole.  Instead, let’s do this:

Should you see it?

Yes.

I won’t lie and say it’s the best horror film I have ever watched, but if you have time, you should definitely check it out.

I intentionally left out a few parts  and didn’t really discuss the ending because I believe you should watch it yourself (if you already haven’t).

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

 

 

How to Make Your Very Own Haunt with Limited Space and Finances

Leave a comment

 

The worst thing about being a Halloween fanatic is the tragic fact that the holiday of all holidays only comes once a year.  However, with October being less than half a year away (146 days until Halloween!), now is the best time for fanatics like myself to start planning.

If you’re anything like me, you love the various haunted house attractions that start opening up around the witching season and you feel so drawn to them that you want to create your own place of horrific magic and wonder for your friends and neighbors to “enjoy.”

You might, however, be worried about the cost of such a monstrous creation.  You may even worry that you simply don’t have the space to make your nightmare come true.

Well, you’re in luck.

Step 1: Plan your “Hauntspace”

Now I’ll tell you, I’ve made a lot of VERY amateur haunts when I was a young boy, but I’ve only made one in my adult life that I feel was successful.  However, the things I’ve learned from that experience have taught me that the most important thing when it comes to haunting your neighborhood is the planning.

First, decide on your “hauntspace,” that is, the area that you will be turning into your haunted house, or maze, or whatever.  I chose to use the backyard of the duplex I was living in at the time.  The space was very limited, but with a little planning and creativity it worked out fantastically.

Next, take measurements of your “hauntspace.”  This way you will know roughly how much material you will need.  The yard I used was about 40′ x 40′, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but trust me, it can work with far less space than that.

After you know how much space you have, start making rough blueprints of where you want your walls to be. This doesn’t have to be 100% perfect, but the better you do it, the easier it will be later on.

Now that you have your spooky schematics planned out, and you know exactly how your haunt should look, you can begin buying building supplies.

Step 2: Building Materials and Tools

As I stated above, my haunt was outdoors, in a rather small backyard.  Therefore, I am more of an expert on outdoor building than indoor, but the concept is about the same.  If you are building outside, you will need the following:

Black plastic sheeting (at least 4 mil thick)

Metal or wooden posts (at least 84 inches)

             Sledge hammer or mallet (preferably not rubber)

             Black zip ties, ropes, or twist ties (must be sturdy!)

 I was lucky enough to have a friend who is a construction worker, who loaned me a bunch of 7 ft. T-posts.  They worked fantastically and I highly recommend using them.

The black plastic sheeting will be used for your walls (and ceilings if you want to keep it dark), and the posts will be used to hold them up, which is, of course, where the zip ties come in.

It is probably a good idea to buy black duct tape in order to make repairs. I ended up having to use a Sharpie to color my duct tape (which turns purple somehow) because I didn’t think ahead.

If you’re building your haunt indoors, you won’t need the posts, because you can simply attach the plastic to the existing ceilings and floors of whatever building you are constructing your haunt in.

Use your blueprints to estimate how much plastic and how many posts you will need, and remember to always buy extra just in case!

Step 3: Construction

To begin construction, use sticks, spray paint, chalk, or something along those lines to mark where your walls will be.  Then, place a post on each end of every wall and at  five or six feet intervals in between in order to keep your walls standing firm.

Once you know where your walls and posts will be, begin pounding the posts into the ground using your sledge hammer.  The posts need to be able to withstand the wind, which the plastic will be trying to use like a sail boat, so make sure they are sturdy!

Now, roll out your plastic sheet to the distance you need for each wall and cut it.  Fasten one end of the plastic, using your zip ties (or rope), and then pull the plastic tight at the opposite end of your wall and fasten it there.

Once all of the ends of each wall are fastened, go around and fasten your plastic to the middle posts (which should be at 5-6 ft. intervals).

If you use the 10 ft. wide plastic sheets, you will have enough extra to let it lay on the ground a couple of feet or so once the walls are up.  I used regular tent stakes to pin theses extra flaps of plastic down, which gave my walls more stability.

This step is definitely the most strenuous, but I did the entire thing (along with the next step) on the morning of Halloween, with help from only one other person.  I HIGHLY recommend starting your construction at least a day before you plan to let the world step inside of your nightmare, it will save you a lot of muscle aches and nervous breakdowns.

Step 4: Decorate!

This is what it’s all about!  It’s all up to you how you decorate your haunt.  You can use themes, use only homemade decorations, or go all out and buy expensive animatronics!

I chose to do a mixture of old hand me down decorations and blowing of all my paychecks on the best animatronics Spirit had to offer (including that handsome son-of-a-bitch pictured above).

As I said, this part is entirely up to you, but I would recommend using a fog machine, strobe lights and as many gallons of fake blood as you can afford.

If you are going to have actors in your haunt, make sure their costumes fit with any themes you might have, or that they just look terrifying enough to be seen within the newly built walls of your haunt.

Final Step: Remember the Reason of the Witching Season.

Building your own haunt and reading this blog means that you are like me, you love the frightening feel of Halloween.  So, it should be enough for you that your haunt might bring a few more people into our way of thinking, right?

Use this experience as a way to share the amazingness (I’m aware that that’s not a word) of Halloween with your neighborhood.  Ask local kids to help you with building or decorating, allow neighbors to dress up and act in your haunt, offer candy to those who are brave enough to step foot in your creation, and most importantly, never, ever, EVER charge for entrance into your haunted attraction.

Seriously, if you want to charge people so that they may experience one of the best parts of the holiday, you are building for the wrong reasons, are a complete douche bag, and are no longer invited to Halloween.

Thanks for reading!